please please please

let it go up.. make it go higher... otherwise, I'm at a loss.

whoever came up with the 99 idea is stupid.

anywhere but here...

Have you ever had that restless feeling, the one that makes you want to be somewhere else?
But you don't really know where you want to go...

I guess, I'm just being so weird because I'm bored, worried and kinda sad.

Oh well, it's just the blues.

Shameless plug :)

Is there any of my dear readers who loves Shu Uemura eye shadow?

I am selling a few for $10.00 each plus $4.00 shipping (priority mail).
It's a great steal. They retail for $20.00.

Please let me know if you are interested. :) I promise these are the real deal.

ME Brown

IR Pink SOLD!!!

ME Blue SOLD!!!

Thank you! :)

Real-Life Doll Houses

We strolled around the historic streets of the Victorian District in Petaluma, California.

I have always loved Victorian houses. Actually, anything Victorian I like. But the houses really makes me fall in love over and over again.

It's the most surreal walk I've ever had. It was like being thrown in a time warp. Those houses have been sitting there since forever.

The fact that there are people living in the houses makes it more appealing. It's not just some empty historic houses, people live in it. How cool is that?

The neighborhood is pristine. The immaculate architectural details of each house just gives me goosebumps. I was actually kicking myself for not bringing my digital camera and for not pulling out my camera phone until near the tail end of the 2-hour walk that we had.

I would love to live in one of these houses, in a heart beat.

Fidel, feel free to drool. I know I did. ;)

Random blahs

• Smoke gets in your eyes, literally, with all the wildfires going on in North California.
• Why do people get so impatient while waiting in line? There are times in life where we just have to stand in line and wait. B*tching about it and making a scene causes stress, not only to the impatient one, but also to the employees and to the other people who are also in line.
• Thank God for Law & Order, CSI, Without A Trace & Cold Case marathon.
  

So when I go to England...

this will be my first stop!

hmmm..

So I just changed my layout. I clearly wanted it to be pink-ish & blue-ish... but I'm still not satisfied with this one..

more tweaking... more cleaning... more more more...

Miss, Miss, how much????

Happy Birthday, Au!
*wuv yah loads!*

it's going downhill.

and I know I deserve it.

I've been such a bitch that I probably deserve everything I have right now.

NOBODY really cares. All I have is nobody. No bigger plans. No space for me. No place for anywhere.

All I'm designed to be is just a wallflower. Just a tiny spec of nuisance thrown into everybody's lives.

I've never felt so crappy and so alone.

This are the times I wish I just don't exist. Nobody would miss out on anything anyway.

A little glimpse of hope...

I really don't know what's up with me lately but I have this sad, depressing feeling that I'm facing a dead end. There's no way to go.

A week ago, I was so surprised by a really good news. It changed my mood about everything, my outlook, it lifted my spirits up. But then, it turned out to be too good to be true.

It was really a bummer. A huge let down. I knew better to not get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it.

It would have been a really good thing... a new paved road that I can travel... or at least so I thought. Until I blinked my eyes and was again, staring on a dirt road with tumble weeds.

There is still a little bit of chance that it could happen, but as the days go by, the slimmer my chances also get.

I wonder where this tunnel leads me. It's a bit dark. The glimmer of hope looks so bleak and so distant.

Sometimes, I really have to remind myself to have faith and that there is a bigger plan for me (or for us).

He who rocks my socks since 4th grade turns 24

Happy Birthday, Chun Chun!

You've never cease to amaze me, to make me laugh & to make me feel so much loved.
I love you with all my heart.

Enjoy your day. Thank God for all your blessings. Eat all you can! Hahahahaha!

*mwah*


credits to RRD designs for the background

Para sa akong palanggang amahan...

I have never met somebody as selfless as you are.

Somebody who would readily give up his comforts, even his wants, just for his children. Somebody who would work all the hours in a day just to give his family a comfortable life.

Somebody who easily gets along with everybody, from all walks of life.

A father who has managed to maintain his status as a parent yet has establish a beautiful friendship with his son and daughter.

A father who believed in me. He also once told me that it's okay to show my imperfections, it's what makes me, me. He also taught me that if it's not worth it, it's okay to walk out of it.

A man I respect because he taught me the value of hardwork, of family, of education, of communication, to value what I have, to strive for something that I want without offending or hurting anybody.

A father who have shown me love more than I could have ever asked for.
I know very well that he is not perfect but I am proud and honored to be his daughter.


I love you, Pa sobra pa sa tanan nakong mahatag, masulti og mabuhat para nimo.

Salamat sa sacrifice, sa mga lessons, sa mga jokes, sa tanan tanan nimo nga gibuhat para namo.

Love,
Pooh.

unheard, invisible, weakened

there are times when I just want to disappear. nothing matters. what I have to say doesn't matter.

so what's the use of being here?

I survived...

my first camping trip. I do have to say that it's fun and (without the really cold weather after the sunset) it's pretty easy. We went camping in Berlin Ichthyosaur State Park. It has a beautiful camping ground and a fossil exhibit of a 95 million years old marine dinosaur. Pretty much amazing.

Ger and I didn't do the tent camping. We slept at the back of the car, we have a station wagon so it's pretty roomy and comfy. Not to mention, it helps a lot when the temperature dropped down fast as soon as the sun set.

I love the peaceful silence. I read and ate and sit by the fire and just be there with my husband. I slept behind the driver's seat so I have the view of the moon-lit sky and the stars. It was a spectacular view, without freezing, I was able to enjoy looking at the stars with Jack Johnson music playing on my iPod.

The next day, we woke up, packed up and went to the Ichthyosaur exhibit. An indescribable feeling crept on me when I saw the fossils. I envisioned what these giant reptiles look like. They're HUGE!

I also envisioned what Nevada was like before it was even called Nevada, during the Pangaea stage. 95 million years ago with dinosaurs roaming around and those marine dinosaurs swimming as well. It would be swampy, humid and moist. They were pretty much successful. They have been on Earth for 95 million years, before and after the Pangaea separation. Us, humans don't even come to quarter of their existence.

All in all, my experience was priceless. I learned and discovered a lot. Ger and I had a lot of time to unwind and relax. A well-worth trip.

Camping photos

is it friday the 13th yet?

I was never superstitious on that "man made" scary/creepy day, until today where I have the slightest idea that today may be my "advance screw-up everything-goes-downhill" day.

It's my Wednesday the 11th. Great, I just made one up.

The day started with a very bad choice of taking a phone call without even checking the caller ID only to find out it was a cancellation of an interview, followed by a mix up of days when to reschedule plus coming across as being totally unavailable for two weeks.

At the risk of sounding desperate, I called back and clarified my schedule and flexibility.

Then I went online on the "secure" computer at home (which is Ger's) only to find out that Earthlink is down just when I needed to check my bank account. Sweet.

I pretty much gave up after a bunch of attempts laced with a lot of cussing out on the connection and still to no avail.

After some time, I had to get ready to go to work and just as we were on our driveway and was going to check the mail, I saw a package delivered for me lying ON THE GROUND, below our mailbox. Inches away from the main road, inches away from getting run over by some vehicle, inches away from disaster. Never mind that the package has the words "FRAGILE" all over it.

All I could say was, "What the f*ck?"

At that moment, I couldn't fathom the common sense of the carrier or what kind of IQ he/she has or how much lazy he/she was to just come knock on our door (which what usually happens when I receive large packages) or how hard it was to leave a note for us to claim a package at the post office because it was too large to fit in the mailbox?

Maybe he/she was rushing, too busy? How about maybe no pen to scribble a note?
Or probably a bad case of diarrhea that the package had to left lying on the ground?

Completely, unacceptable and upsetting.

We immediately went to the post office with the package unopened and reported happened. The Post Master said he'll talk to the carrier about it.

Afterwards, I opened the package in the car and as luck would have it the Hummel plate that I have been waiting for is broken, chipped, damaged and pathetic.

We had to double back and show the damage, again, to the Post Master. They checked if it was insured. I said it should be because the shipping postage I paid for includes insurance. They said it wasn't insured.

By this time, I was PISSED. My face could have said it all because the Post Master saw the stress on my face and all he could tell me is to document everything, make copies, get the transaction receipt, proof of insurance then he'd conduct an investigation.

"We'll start from there", he said. Bull.

I don't know who to get mad at, the stupid carrier who left the package on the ground and disregarded the "FRAGILE" sticker, the unapologetic Post Master, or the eBay seller who ripped me off by letting me pay a "required" insurance fee only to find out otherwise. From what I can remember, the eBay seller doesn't even know how to communicate. No email whatsoever.

I emailed her with pictures and all. I hope she won't ruin my day tomorrow with a negative response or worst, NO response.


By the time I got to work, I was hoping things won't get worst or I'll have a nervous breakdown.

I got to the back room and mopped the floor so I can think and ponder on what's up with my day, then I saw something that got caught in the mop.

I jumped and yelped when I realized it was a cricket!
I HATE crickets. They scare me. Even when they're dead.

Joe, my shift supervisor somehow made my day better and put the first smile on my face (without him knowing) by saying, "Uh uh. I'm gay. I don't do crickets."
And still, he picked it up with a paper towel and tossed the thing in the trash can.

Thank God, work was uneventful after that and it wasn't busy but night ended with me having a terrible headache from inhaling the cleaning solutions' fumes.

Tomorrow, I'm going camping for the first time with Ger. Let it be a much better day compared today.

an unexpected blessing...

it's too premature to say it so for now...

crossing my fingers.

God answered mine & Ger's prayer.

I have been looking for a second part time job. I submitted an application to this assisted living center in town for a receptionist position. Honestly, I just want another job.

Why? I want to save more money and buy a new laptop. :D At least, I'm looking for another income before I plunge into debt without knowing how to pay for it.

I have an interview Monday afternoon.

I really hope it will go well.
Please, God. Please.

breathe...

I feel sooooo much better since my previous entry.

I admit, I was really pissed off when I wrote that. But there were no regrets. I won't delete it nor make it private.

That entry is meant to be put out there. It made me feel better, I know that somehow, I need to vent out without direct confrontation because that would only stir more chaos. That's what a blog is for anyway, right?

Giving (some people of) the world a middle finger!

It really sucks when you're trying to be nice to people, accommodate them, deal with their insanity to the best of your ability and then they hit you right back by saying "You're a mean bitch". Of course, being the coward cows that they are, they don't even have the guts to say it up front.

I know you can't please everybody and by no means am I trying to please anybody.
Yes, I can be VERY bitchy when pushed. But I am downright nice to everybody. That's just who I am.

But now, after the shit hit the fan and I get to deal with cleaning it up. No way am I taking it.

Think whatever you want to think, but you can't say I didn't try. Because I did.
And there's no sense of trying anymore.

I'm sick of it.
Starting today, I will be living up to your expectations. Bitch and all. Deal with it!

I am what you think I am but I'm not letting any of you define me.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Please pardon my page. I'm trying to put up a new layout and I am still trying to embellish it so there might be some weird graphics, images and maybe a panda, an elephant and a penguin dancing to the Merry Christmas Polka.

; )