Sometimes, I take pride of the title: the Royal Screw Up.

Today is one of those days when I should be wearing that crown and sash.
It's been a really bad day. It started out this morning with an overactive imagination gone wrong and pissed David off.

I've been told that I have a knack for ruining good things in my life and pushing the people, who love me and I love, away.
Since then, I've been on guard for whatever unintentional actions that I might stupidly do. And *tadah!!!* I’m doing the same old crap again.

Like thinking that I don't deserve my boyfriend.
Like thinking that he should be with somebody else (taller, prettier, slimmer).
Like thinking that one day shit's going to happen and I'll be totally abandoned again.

Stupid issues. Stupid paranoia. Stupid shit.

I know deep in my heart that I have a good man in my life. He met me when I was in my worst shape and hung in with me.
He's very supportive and held my hand through out those times. I am truly grateful for having him in my life.

But coming out from a failed marriage where I've been betrayed, hurt and wounded, my insecurities creep up on me sometimes.

I know it's stupid. It doesn't make sense.

Sure, David isn't a saint. He's not perfect. He can be a butthead sometimes but I know he won't do anything to hurt me.

Why am I entertaining stupid thoughts? Why I am trying to ruin something that's so precious to me?

*Le sigh*

Oh, and the cherry on the icing of a 10-foot-tall screw up cake? I failed to inform my boss that his boss from corporate had called and asked for a call back. The repercussions of me forgetting that? I almost got fired. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet!

Wow

It's official. US is in recession.

How scary is that?

I'm thankful for...

• David - the love of my life, my balance and the only guy who can fart and burp in front of me numerous times but is still damn sexy in my eyes. Thank you for EVERYTHING.

• My Fallonite Friends - Andrea, you are awesome. Hang in there, sunshine! Courtney, you should totally give me the brand of crack you're on while at work. You are stinkin' fabulous! Steve (yes, you are a wee bit of a Fallonite), yeah we banter like brother and sister and I'll miss that about you!

• My two jobs - despite the fact that sometimes, I feel like I'm torturing myself. I'm thankful that I have TWO and not just one. It helps, a lot.
  


• The Chipmunks - I miss you all and I love you. I can't wait for "the return of the comeback". Numero Doce, The Beat, Bantayan, Boracay... here we come!!!

• Fidel - You are my super duper best friend ever. I love you more than anything and anyone. I swear if you decide to stop liking guys, we're getting married! I miss you, porn star!



• The Brother - Kiss some Kangaroo's ass for me there in OZ. I'm so proud of you.


• The Parents - You both are my rock and my inspiration. I love you.

• Ger - Yes, Ger. Thank you. Whatever had happened has shaped me to become the woman that I am right now. I wish you all the best.

Save a turkey, Eat a pizza! Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Indecisive

I've always been that way. It takes time for me to decide and making decisions sometimes, overwhelms me. I tend to overanalyze things and most of the time, it works to my disadvantage. My brain eats me alive.

Case in point, I cannot decide what to do with my layout. I've been wanting to change it.

I just don't know what I want to do with it. What colors. What design.

Decisions, decisions.

*sigh*

I'm so excited, I could almost pee in my pants!

Is it the 21st yet?????